Friday, May 11, 2012

Baby Momma Drama

My friends, let me tell you the things I have been dealing with lately.

No it isn't really MY drama but it is in my family.

My baby brother had a baby with a girl 3 years ago. The momma was 16 when she had my beautiful little niece. Neither one of them were very good parents. They lived up here for a little while and each of them would fight over who was gonna change her diaper, who was gonna feed her, who was gonna pick her up when she cried. I felt so sorry for my little niece that I offered to become her guardian and take care of her so they could be "teenagers". Of course, they said no but I really wish they would have let me.

Now they are living their own lives of course. My brother is FINALLY starting to show a little maturity. He has a job in the prison system in the state of Georgia. He is also married. He hadn't been with this girl for very long and he moved into her apartment. She took care of him for a while and then he got his job. They woke up one morning and decided to just go get married. So that is where they stand.

I don't know his wife at all. I do know that she has two very young children. I also know she just got her kids back last year. She had put them with a relative because she was hooked on drugs. Now she is clean and taking care of her kids, has her own place, and has a job. He loves her but her past worries me.

Now on to my brother and his Baby Momma Drama. I don't want anyone to think I am on either my brother's side or my niece's mom's side. I am on my niece's side. End of story.

My brother's wife has posted a lot of crazy stuff on Facebook about how the baby's momma is neglecting her, how they live in filth, how the baby has head lice and has had it since February. I'm not down there so I really don't know what all is going on But I did comment on her post saying that Facebook is NOT the place to air family business such as that. All the comments on her posts were arguing about how bad the other woman is. NO ONE was even talking about the baby.

Now a few things I do know from talking to everyone (family) close to the matter is:
My brother doesn't get/see the baby as often as he should because he always seems to have an excuse not to. Like "stuff to do" "I'm tired because I worked" ect.

The baby often goes to her grandparent's home (my brother's dad). 

The baby usually arrives dirty and smelly.

The baby does in fact have lice and it is so bad her head is covered.

The baby has some female issues from either uncleanliness or someone hurting her.

Those are the things I do know.

So I also commented on the wife's post that there are better ways of dealing with this stuff than facebook. If they suspect the child is being neglected then they should call Child Protective Services and have the living conditions and stuff investigated. I also stated that the baby's mom could take the irate facebook posts and use them against my brother. She could get restraining orders and have his visitation taken away. Finally, I told my brother that he needed to keep a photo and journal record of when he sees the baby, her condition when he got her, anything she says that doesn't seem right, and if he suspects anything is wrong, take her to the doctor.

Well, my brother's wife called me and started her conversation with "Let Me TELL YOU Something". Ok so I hung up because I will not be yelled at by a kid lol. I called back and told her that I will sit and talk with her but I will not be talked to in that way. So she called me back and told me she was done with my brother's family. So she is burning his bridges for him. He did call me and apologize and I explained to him where I stand. I don't care if my niece is with him, her mom, her long as she is being cared for.

Now, last night I went to get on the baby momma's facebook page to look at the most recent pics of my niece. I couldn't get on her page. I imagine she has blocked me because she thinks I am against her. So now I have to straighten it all out. I want info from both sides of this situation. BUT most of all I want what is best for my niece.

So now I dunno what to do really. I try to stay out of that stuff as much as possible and I try to be pro my niece. Not for my brother, not for her mom. I am just lost at this moment and absolutely worried sick about her. 

What would you all do if you were in my shoes?

Many Hugs,


  1. If things are as bad as you say then you really ought to fone Child Protection. It is for the child's sake no-one else's and you have tried other routes with no luck. Hope the little one get's sorted soon. xx

  2. I agree with Hazel. You call CPS, let them know where you stand, what you have heard and they can investigate. There are probably others like you who think they should do something but don't know what. I have been a mandatory reported for 20 years and I know they will take your report and have it looked into. The 'adults' might get mad, but who cares. The baby needs someone like you to be her advocate. Good luck. I know it must hard to hear this stuff about her and wish you had her to raise and take care of. Hopefully it will work out somehow in the best interest of the baby.