Thursday, September 1, 2011

Remembering 9/11, Conspiracies, and my Grandpa

Hello again my friends. I am having trouble sleeping tonight. I really don't understand insomnia sometimes. I can be dead tired and as soon as my head hits the pillow I am wide awake! It is absolutely dreadful on nights like this one when I know I absolutely have to get up at 6:30 am to wake my daughter for school. Since my body has decided to reject sleep, I thought I would blog about some deep subjects for many off us.

9/11 will be remembered by all of us as a day of tragedy. So many people lost their lives in those horrific, senseless attacks. I can remember that day very vividly. We lived in Jacksonville, Florida at the time. My oldest daughter was 2 and my youngest daughter was 6 months old. My boys weren't even a thought. My dad and his girlfriend at the time had flown down from Ohio for a visit a few days earlier. September 11, 2001 he was supposed to be flying back. My hubby had training for his new job early that Tuesday morning. He was back in time for us to go to the airport to see my dad off. His flight was to leave around 9:30 or 10 that morning. My hubby picked the girls and me up and we headed off to the airport which was about a 10-15 minute drive from where we lived. On the way my hubby was telling me about an airplane crash into a building in New York. I didn't think too much of it since planes do crash rather frequently. I just shrugged it off as if it were nothing.

We arrived at the airport and found a parking spot next to a burgundy car. There were two ladies putting bags inside the trunk of the car. We got out and was getting the stroller out of the trunk of our car when the one of the ladies informed us that we were not allowed to take strollers or any bags of any kind into the airport. When we asked why she stated, " You haven't heard? America is under attack. Terrorists have crashed planes into the World Trade Center in New York". I began to realize the gravity of the situation right then. The lady proceeded to tell us that all flights all over the United States were grounded.

We put the stroller, purse, and diaper bag into the trunk of the car and went inside the airport to try to find my dad. The place was a mad house. People were frantically calling other people. There were no empty phone booths. The lobby and concourses were packed full of people. Some were mad, some were crying, some were lost. We were getting bumped into. My daughter was almost knocked out of my arms at one point. No one was allowed into the concourses or even the hallways of the concourses unless that person was leaving the airport.

We didn't find my dad. We had only missed him by about 5 minutes. He rented a car and drove back to Ohio. On our way back to our home we turned on the radio and all we heard was the horror stories. I really didn't grasp all that was going on until we arrived back at our house and I turned on the television. There, on every channel, was pictures of these two skyscrapers with holes in them with smoke and fire blowing out. There were people gasping and crying. People were jumping out of the buildings. Then the first tower fell. I was in disbelief. God had blessed me with the gifts of empathy and compassion and I could feel what was written on every ash laden face. I was in tears, scared, shocked, praying. 

I watched the events post 9/11 unfold day after day. I started feeling sorry for those who lost their lives at the Pentagon and on Flight 93 that went down in Pennsylvania. You rarely heard about them. It was all about New York. Still, I felt the hope and rejoiced when a survivor was brought out of the rubble but that too came to an end as the days went on. I haven't missed a documentary, a series, a movie, anything that has pertained to that fateful day.

With that being said and my need to learn as much as I can about stuff, I have watched videos on and read documents that I have came across pertaining to that day. There are so many conspiracy theories out there now. Some say there were explosions in the seconds before the planes hit the World Trade Center; like a missle had been shot into the building first. Some say when the towers fell, there were explosions on every floor, like a demolition job and that is the reason they didn't fall over, they collapsed on themselves. Some say flight 93 didn't crash in that field. The "scar" from it was already there or that flight 93 wasn't a hero flight where all the passengers fought back BUT the plane was shot down by the military.

Other theories involve the people involved. It is a fact that the first President Bush had "unfinished business" overseas from the Gulf War as he didn't bring down Sadam Hussein. It is also a fact that Osama Bin Laden and The Bushes have some common oil interests and are partners in some aspects of the business. Some think that this attack was so Younger President Bush could finish what his daddy started. Some say it was to hike up oil. The newest one is that Bin Laden is not dead. America didn't see a body and that is why those men lost their lives in that helicopter crash not too long ago.

Now friends please don't get me wrong, I, myself, don't really care too much for conspiracy theories. I just know that thousands of men, women, and children lost their lives for some reason unknown to me. I want to make sense of it. I don't want to forget what happened on that day. I will always remember those horrifying images. I pray for the families and I hope nothing like this happens again!


My Grandpa is also tied in with the 9/11 stuff although not directly. My grandpa was 71 years old when all this happened. He had had a quadruple bypass only a week before these events. He was released from the hospital and was taken back because he had another heart attack. I was called on September 9th by my mom and my grandma who were in Macon, Georgia with my grandpa. I kept close tabs on his condition. I was told he was doing ok. He was hanging in there. They had him on air. My grandpa had sleep apnea and I always saw him on air so that wasn't a shock to me.

Whoa I am getting a little ahead of myself. You need some background. My mom and dad split up when I was 5. My mom moved to Georgia where my grandma and grandpa lived. Mom and dad divorced when I was 6. I saw my dad 6 weeks out of the summer and every other holiday if arrangements could be made. This all occurred until I was 11. At that time I moved in with my dad in Ohio for 3 years and back with my mom in Georgia when I was 14. After I moved back to my mom, I didn't see my dad again until my high school graduation when I was 18. Sooooo....My grandpa was the father figure in my life. He did all the things dads were supposed to do. I love him very much and he was so much a part of my life......
......he walked me down the aisle when I got married. (my own father didn't come to my wedding)

Now back to my story before the background.

On September 9th I was told by my mom and my grandma that my grandpa was doing fine, on air (I thought like oxygen). I asked them if they thought I should come up there and I was told no.

September 12th I get a phone call. It is my step-dad. I can hear sobbing in the background. He was telling me that my grandpa, my father figure had passed away. I went numb, I didn't talk, I went to my room.

When I was called back to be told of the arrangements I found out that my grandpa had been on life support for a week. They signed to take him off as his heart rate was getting slower and slower. I was furious. I didn't get to say goodbye because I was made to believe he was ok, just had the usual oxygen on. (that's a whole new blog post)

I didn't go to his funeral. I couldn't bear to see him laying there. My family got mad at me for that and I was told that I just lost my grandfather but they (my mom) had lost a dad. I was being selfish. They didn't get he was like my dad too.

So you see, this year marks 10 years ago that our country lost its safety and security and that I lost my grandfather.

I will never forget either.


  1. You're so lucky that you got to be with a loving grandfather for so long. My parents moved us from Oklahoma to Oregon when I was 4 and we hardly ever saw my grandparents again. Just the occasional visit. So, think of the good times and appreciate the closeness you had. Family relationships are so complicated, aren't they?
    ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

  2. This is sad, but we can see your love for him.